Ah!!!! Okay. i finally got my results for my SPM exams on monday.. So great! i actually did well in it. i can hardly believe it. Till today, i still think i'm dreaming. it's like, this has been what i've been wishing for, for the whole of this year and last year. Can't believe i actually got it. OOHHHH.... *jumps up and down* Just cant describe how i felt. Its the most incredible thing! hahah.. Miracle i think.

But i cant say i'm totally happy about it. I am not 100% happy. Well, one of my friends din really hit the target she wanted. Although she only missed on one subject, she was still really disappointed. To tell the truth, i've always been a lil jealous of her for always being smarter than i am. Sometimes, i secretly wished that i would do better than her in this major exam. but, i never really meant it. And now that she did not do as well, i feel terrible for her. I would really prefer that both of us did equally well.. Seriously, i've been expecting her to hit it straight. and not me. Thats y i am saying, it's like miracle.

And another thing, now i am totally LOST! all these while, i have been expecting maybe a couple of missed subjects. so i was thinking that i am sure to be going to Form 6. And if i go to form 6, i din have to decide on my future, so soon. Now, i am going to apply for a few government scholarships which will allow me to go overseas to further my studies and i wont have to pay for my courses. Now i cant decide. Because, the course that i wanted to go for, which is designing, is not available in any of the scholarships. AND everyone will think i am mad if i give up the scholarships now.

So.. i am really really... LOST. i guess i'll just go for anything. medicine, engineering, watever. If i dun get the scholarships, i'll go for form 6. Actually now, i feel like going for form 6. No decisions, and lots of old friends!!! *sigh* if i really do get medicine or something, i think i shud just do my best, and i'll try and get a double degree later in my life. I might not have the time to do it tho, so... *cries out loud* i'll still find my own way to keep my passion alive, i'm sure. *fingers crossed*

*flys away*

Sometimes, i'm just so grateful for the life that i had all this while. I mean, i couldn't help but to notice that there are so many people less fortunate than me. For instance, yesterday i saw this program called "finding angels" on tv while i was just flipping tru the channels. It tells about a boy who had some genetic skin disease since young. He is 17. Thats the same age as me... I couldnt explain it in words how much sadness i felt as i watched the life story of this boy. Because of this disease, his skins starts peeling off.. his hands and legs, they were so thin. He could barely walk. And he had a younger brother who suffered the same fate as him. As i watched my tears started falling. My heart really goes out to the family. It was really sad and touching to see how the mother of this two child struggle to make things better for the three of them. She searched everywhere for a doctor who could help them, yet it had not been successful so far. And she still didn't give up. It was stated that this disease is a very rare one and only happens to one out of ten thousand people. Why on earth did this family deserve such fate? *sigh* And i noe, they are not the only ones in the earth who are so unfortunate. i wonder how many others have suffered through their life.

If such thing ever happens to me, i dunno how i'll take it. Seriously, i can never be that strong. Thus i am really grateful for my life, and my family. God, please bless this family and those who need it and make their lives better.

-Ms. Akito-

*waves* hi! well, it's nothing really. Just wanna state that the header of my blog *points upward*, i found it in deviantart, so credits to sibocks yea.. k, thats all.

*vanishes*

When i first thought about it, art was just.. well art, to me. I didnt noe there are so many different kinds of art in life! Now that it's almost the time of my life where i have to make a decision where i would take my life to, i'm just so confused. I've asked my friends, attended workshops, education fairs, and such. But the thing is, i just CAN'T make up my mind!! So many different courses available..graphic designs, fine art, interior design, photography, hair design, fashion design, digital art.. everything seems to attract me. Gosh. I noe it seems a little too early, i havent even got my results for my SPM yet AND i have to go to Form 6 still ( that's 2 more years!!--->unless i get a scholarship or sumthin').. but i'll have to make a decision sooner or later, right??

Thing is, i'm from the science class all these while. And everyone (well, MOST people) seems to expect me to go for medicine or engineering or some other paths that are considered profesional. i've considered that.. u noe, big money, big house, big car, big life?Will it be as promising if i go for art? Hmm.. *deep in thoughts* Art is not a popular thing here in my country.. so........ BUT ITS MY INTEREST!!!! Can i really live doing the things i hate?

can't make up my mind, cant make up my mind....

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry i could not travel both"

From THE ROAD NOT TAKEN by Robert Frost (studied that in Form 4 =P)  

*digs up a hole and disappears into it*

 *fireworks*

*waves* HI!!! So, it's my FIRST post!! Great. Never thought i'd be touching this thing ever. I suck at blogging. Ugh. Well, at least it's better than dying out of boredom. I've been extremely bored these days!! Just waiting for my results, waiting for school to start again. Damn, how i miss school. I've been going to school for say, 10 years and now i've to stay at home for bout 4 to 5 months doing nothing. Tell me, how do i survive this??! So while i was staring at the computer screen one day, this little thought came. Why not try blogging again? *shrugs* So, here goes nothing! ^_^

~vanishes~